Why Fear of Judgement Destroys Your Ability to be Happy

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The moment you begin to fear judgement is the moment you begin to judge yourself

-Sherre Webb

There are two simple words loaded with enough arsenal to completely distort your view of reality. These same two words drive people to chase an illusion of who they are, instead of becoming more of who they were created to be.

These two words are fear and judgement, but even more so: fear of judgment. Undoubtedly, these two words have a drive so powerful they lead many in the wrong direction in life. The result is a society of lost, and once blinded, individuals who are just now waking up to the truth. The same two words: fear and judgement have resulted in a collective people feeling as though they are not good enough. Unfortunately, those same people live with a constant feeling that something is missing in their life.

If you want to release yourself from the anxiety and paralyzing emotions that stem from fear of judgement you must first understand why fear and judgement, but more importantly, fear of judgement destroys your ability to truly be happy in life:

Here are five reasons why:

  1. Those who fear judgment from others are secretly or unconsciously comparing themselves to others, therefore, they are judging themselves.
    • You can never truly be happy as long as you are constantly feeling like something is “wrong” with you, or that you aren’t good enough.
  2. Fear of judgement affects your self-esteem. When you lack self-confidence, you also lack belief in yourself.
    • This results in you not taking action on those things you feel drawn to do in life because you don’t feel worthy to have them.
  3. When you fear judgement you’re afraid of stepping outside the box of your comfort zone, which is the only place you can truly experience the type of happiness that comes with being free to just be.
  4. This one is closely related to number three in the sense that when you fear what others may think or say, you remain stuck – stuck in a job you hate, stuck in a relationship you aren’t happy with, or stuck in toxic friendships.
    • You can’t be happy when you feel stuck because you will always feel as if you are missing out on something, which is actually the truth.
  5. When you fear judgement from others, you miss out on opportunities that would have otherwise presented themselves had you only been prepared.
    • When you don’t pursue your dreams or what you feel is your purpose, you live with a void that is hard to understand.

Reality Check: You can’t be happy when you fear judgement from others because you can never live a life that fulfills you.

Why do so many people fear judgement? Where does this pattern of thinking come from? Not everyone suffers from the fear of judgement; therefore, the question we must ask is:

Where does this pattern of thinking originate from?

Do you have a fear of judgement from others? If so, here are five reasons why:

  1. You have experienced judgement at some point for simply being who you are.
  2. You weren’t raised in an environment that consistently demonstrated healthy, loving relationships.
  3. You weren’t encouraged to be exactly who you are and to become more of who you were created to be.
  4. You were shaped and molded to be who your parents wanted you to be and now you don’t know who you really are.
  5. You look to society to define what is acceptable and unacceptable.

There are many more reasons that I could list but those are a few of what I have seen as some of the top reasons people live with fear of judgement from others.

Reality Check: We live in a world that no longer cares about the long-term negative impact that judgement has on society.

This particular type of fear has caused people to become unaware of why they do the things they do, or say the things they say. Our judgmental society has resulted in people looking to others instead of within to find what truly makes them happy. We search on social media for what looks good or what seems to make people lives appear to be carefree, and then asked ourselves a very dangerous question: Why can’t my life be like theirs?

This is the beginning of comparison and it’s a very dangerous position to be in because it makes you feel as if your life, the one you have right now, isn’t good enough. Of course, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Reality Check: The purpose of life is to figure out how to live your best life, but you have to ask God to show you who you really are.

We live in a world where so many people are pretending to be something they are not because they fear judgement from someone that doesn’t even matter in the grand scheme of things. If this is you, why aren’t you doing what you truly desire to do? Deep in your heart you know the reason is because you are living by someone else’s standards. Now you’re trying to live up to an image that even you, can’t see. Those images along with all the expectations are impossible to live up to because they aren’t your own.

When you don’t allow space or give yourself the freedom to explore who you really are, you feel lost because you are. It’s exhausting to try and be who someone else wants you to be.

Read Why You Deserve to Live Your Life Out Loud

The world’s standards change all the time, so what sense does it make to look to the world for what you should be doing with your life. I think the only time you should look to others is to learn from those who do not care what other people think because not everyone suffers from fear of judgement. These are the people you see living life on their own terms – feeling as though they never work a day in their life because they love what they do and they are doing what they love.

I say: fear not. Now, go and be great.

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