Tag: Approval

F*** Fear!

There…I said it. Don’t…judge…me.

I had to say it. Not because I don’t care who it offends (quite the opposite, I must say), but I had to say it for me. I had to say it because I was scared to death to say it and it is past time that I set myself free from the death grip of fear.

I have literally lived my whole life worried about what other people may think, say, or feel. I was scared of what my friends might say, or my sisters and brothers. I was afraid of offending my mother or disappointing my father, but worst of all I feared the opinion of those who I didn’t even know and who didn’t know me. How ludicrous does that sound? The sad truth is there are millions of people living their life on these ridiculous terms -basing how they live their life (what they do or don’t do) on someone else’s opinion.

I…am…tired.

I’m tired of allowing the fear of whatever imagined “worst outcome” I could facilitate in my mind to dictate my life. I am simply over fear being the deciding factor in mine and anyone else’s life, so on behalf of those who have not built up the courage to speak up for themselves, I will say it to you and for you, “Fuck fear!”

Live your life on your own terms, with not a single iota of care or concern of what other people think. Not to say you shouldn’t care about your loved ones and their feelings, just not to the point that how they feel or what they say dictates your life. That’s what I’m saying in a nutshell.

I’m going to let you in on a little well kept secret: everybody’s shit stinks and everybody has insecurities. Some are just better than others at hiding them.

I can no longer afford to care and neither can you about everyone else’s opinion.

If you didn’t ask for their opinion, then it really doesn’t matter.

Living in an invisible prison of your mind that restricts you from being who you truly are based on someone else’s opinion is simply no way to live. No one, and I mean no one, holds the key to set you free from that prison but you. Aren’t you tired of the pain that comes from not believing how great you are?

Although I write about living on purpose, finding your passion, and going for what you want no matter what, I haven’t been doing it – not to the degree that I should have been. But why wasn’t I living completely in my own truth? Because I was unaware that, in many areas of my life, fear still had a hold on me and it was running the show. I had to get real with myself…again. Let me tell you something: self-awareness is key and I can not express this enough.

Everything I have written, I wholeheartedly believe to be my truth. I believed every word I said and I still do. Even in everyday conversations, I constantly encourage others to do what they love, to go for it, to let go of what’s holding them back. Personally, I overcame the fear of sharing my thoughts through my blog by just doing it. I also overcame my fear of embarrassment and judgment by putting my own “stuff” out there. So why was I starting to feel like a hypocrite? I felt like I wasn’t being completely honest with myself because although I would tell myself I didn’t care what other people thought ,deep down, I knew that was a lie. This was my epiphany after my “getting real with myself…again” moment.

What made me take notice is while writing my book and it was a subject that I knew was a very sensitive one, I would censor my words, or even worse, I would hesitate in writing my thoughts. I hesitated because of my perception of how it may come across to others. I was afraid that my words would offend someone. I feared the reaction of all the people that, in my mind, I thought would quickly throw judgment my way. I thought to myself,

“If I’m still concerned about the opinion of others, there is no way I am being completely honest with my audience, even if my intent is to be transparent and honest.”

Intellectually I knew the concept of living a life of purpose to be true. Emotionally, I believed that everyone should walk in their truth (whatever that looks like) and I always had high hopes that my words of inspiration, motivation, and encouragement would add value to someone else’s life. I have been told time and time again that they do and that’s great; however, by my own standards, my words mean nothing if I am not wholeheartedly walking in what I so passionately put out into the world in my attempt to help others. I have always been good at listening, assessing and giving great advice for everyone’s problems…except my own.

This journey of encouraging and uplifting is not only for other people, it’s for me. Through my words I become a better me and I hope my words help you become a better you. If I only touch one life, I have walked in my purpose and I’m good with that.

If you get nothing else out of the words I have shared, please know how great you really are and that at the end of the day, other people’s opinions about you just don’t matter. Go live your life and be great.

Did this article help you realize that fear may be what is holding you back from being all that you can be? Please feel free to comment below.

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