How It All Begin
I started writing down my thoughts in 2004 when my youngest sister gave me a book for Christmas. It was purple (my favorite color) and full of empty, lined pages. She said the book was to serve as an outlet, providing a means to express my innermost thoughts and feelings. Although she thought it was a good idea for me to start journaling, she had no idea the magnitude of the gift she had given me and, at that time, neither did I.
I had never in my life put my thoughts to paper, even if for years, my thoughts had plagued me in such a way that I would feel overwhelmed without understanding why, and so…I began to journal.
In the beginning, I started writing about the frustrations that came along with everyday life situations. Quite often, I would wonder why I couldn’t seem to get this thing called life right until one day while in a very deep state of thinking, I started writing a poem about walking by faith. Before I knew it, I was in a zone. When I went back and read what I had written, I was somewhat amazed.
For one, I had never written poetry a day in my life and for two, the pain that came through the words of that poem touched me as if I was an outsider reading it for the first time. I felt the pain of the lady that wrote that poem. I realized later on, many poems later, that I am the lady that is the voice of so many women that suffer in silence or don’t know how, or haven’t figured out a way to express some of the things they are currently encountering in life or have previously been through.
I realized that I am the voice of women that have felt the kind of pain that silences you, making you feel all alone. I am the voice of not only
One day I started writing and I couldn’t type fast enough to keep up with the thoughts that were flowing; this time when I went back and read what I had written, once again, it was like I was the outsider except for this time, I wanted to know more about that lady’s story. This time, it wasn’t poetry, but her own personal story that I was reading, and I had questions I needed answers to. Many of the questions I had been asking myself for years were revealed because of my decision to continue writing.
The Answers Lie Within You
The saying “the answer lies within you” is true. Whatever your gift lies, is also where you will find the answers to all of those questions. It is amazing, truly amazing how wonderfully unique God has designed each and every single person. I used to wonder why I didn’t quite “fit in” no matter how hard I tried. I would feel depressed at times because I knew I was different. I thought different from a lot of people I would have conversations with. I came to the realization through these conversations that a lot of times I would see things on a much deeper level. This acknowledgment of my individuality made me feel as if something was wrong with me, so I withdrew even deeper into myself. Most people misunderstood my reasons for withdrawing and came to the conclusion that I must be antisocial. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Embrace Your Uniqueness
It wasn’t until I started writing that I realized God didn’t make a mistake when He made me. He designed me to be a deep thinker. He designed me to think analytically. He designed me in such a way that it is easier for me to express my thoughts through the written word.
God designed you to be unique in your own way too, like no one else in this world. That’s a lot to conceptualize when you think about the billions of people on this earth. To think that what makes you different from the other billions of people on this earth was designed perfectly on purpose.
If there is anyone reading this that connects with what I’m saying and feels like you don’t quite “fit in”, don’t shrink away from that. Embrace it and start the journey of finding out why you feel the way you do. Find out why you don’t quite fit into “this crowd” or “that group of people or organization”. There’s a gift in your uniqueness that is waiting to be discovered and once discovered, will bring you so much joy, peace, and fulfillment. The journey will be well worth traveling.