Category: Fear

What Are You Afraid Of?

What Are You Afraid Of?

The fear you resist will persist.

Sherre Webb

Some years back I wrote an article called Fear Is An Illusion in which I wrote about how fear can keep you from reaching your true potential. The title seems to imply that fear is not a real thing. I want to be clear in stating that the emotion of fear is a very real thing. Fear can make you act quickly as a measure to keep you safe from harm or from entering into potentially dangerous situations. Fear can also keep you from taking action that needs to be taken to move you forward in life. This kind of fear is the one I am referencing when describing fear as an illusion. It is the kind of fear that produces a perceived worst case scenario outcome, or it may be fear of failure, success, or judgement from others and of yourself. This kind of fear, once faced, tends to dissipate rather quickly because what you feared more often than not will end up not being as big of a deal as your initial assumption, which brings me to the question,

What are you afraid of?”

You see, until you ask yourself this question and are honest in providing an answer, you will never move past whatever is holding you back from the things you so deeply desire to have and experience in life. I notice a lot of people tend to ignore the thing that scares them the most as if ignoring it will make it go away. This couldn’t be further from the truth because the fear you resist will persist. It will continue to manifest and grow until and unless you face it head-on. Today is the best day to start overcoming fear.

Admittedly, I used to allow fear to dictate my actions. I used to check in with everybody about what I should and shouldn’t do, so I know how fear of judgement or other people’s reaction can stifle the way you move through life. However, as I grew weary of trying to measure up to other people’s expectations, I finally surrendered to myself that I would be myself and if anyone had a problem with who I was in my authentic skin, their problem wasn’t mine. In a nutshell, I no longer sought anyone’s approval for the decisions I would make for my life.

What I have found to be true is that the thing or things you fear the most are somehow tied to your deepest desire, meaning that which you desperately wish to have or experience in your life. Think about it and I bet you will discover that the two are somehow connected. Why is this?

As life would have it because it’s…well…life, something must come to resist or attempt to keep you from what could be or will lead to your destiny. Are you willing to face your fears, or will you allow them to continue to control you? When you face what you are afraid of, somehow it loses its power over you, or at least its power over you diminishes, especially the more times you are willing to face it. This is what I meant in my previous article when I said fear is an illusion. It doesn’t mean fear isn’t real because it is, but when you face what you are afraid of, now you are the one in control, and my biggest hope for you is that you don’t allow fear to have control over any part of your life.

So, what all is entailed in actually coming face to face with your fears? What exactly does that mean anyway? I am going to break it down quickly. This is not a 10-step program okay so let’s get to it. I am going to give you practical explanations and solutions to this ugly problem that I will call “The fear of…”

  1. First thing’s first and that is separating fact from fiction. Simply put: make sure what you are tripping on is real and factual! This requires that you practice what is called Inductive and Deductive reasoning, which in a nutshell simply means to practice accurate thinking. This will help you break the truth down to the bare bones.
    • The way to begin to eliminate the racing thoughts that accompany “The fear of…” is to ask yourself if what you fear is an actual fact. If so, what are the facts? Write them down. (i.e. disappointing someone you love because it goes against their opinion of what they think is best for you). If it’s not a fact, eliminate it from your thinking as an untruth. The last part of this step is to separate the facts into two areas, important and unimportant and to only focus on what’s really important.
  2. Now that you have determined what the important facts are you must get still and dig deep to figure out why you have this particular fear. Is it because of a previous experience or something someone said to you that one time you did something they didn’t approve of? It’s important to ask yourself questions concerning the source of the fear. Eventually, the answers will be revealed to you.
    • This step is important because it will show you if your fear stems from a previous experience. Now you can understand and be clear on the fact that the previous outcome that you may have experienced is not indicative of your future. It will reveal if you have been living in the past during certain moments throughout your life and projecting a previous experience into your future and allowing it to control you.

We make things way too complicated. There is nothing more freeing than being able to face and manage your fears. Yes, it is an ongoing process, but once you learn the techniques to manage your fears, whether they stem from past unhealthy relationships or something that may be more so on a personal level such as weight loss or any other struggle that can affect your self-esteem, they will not be able to stop you from doing what you want to do in life. You may want to check out where they are committed to helping you accomplish your personal goals and will keep you motivated during every step of the process.

Once you start seeing the rewards that come as a result of being dedicated to your own personal growth and development you will wonder why it took you so long to face your fears and to start stepping into your destiny. I am constantly trying to level up by feeding my mind food that produces personal growth by expanding my mind, thus changing my mindset.

As you all know, I am a huge advocate for mental health, personal development, and living a life of authenticity and on your own terms. There’s no better time than now to start living your life to the fullest. Don’t let fear stop you. I read books all the time that have helped me overcome fear and become more confident. Here are my recommendations for books that have definitely helped me expand my mind over the course of just one year.

The first book, Professional Troublemaker – The Fear Fighting Manual by my favorite Author, Luvvie Ajayi. It just came out and I am reading it right now, so you know it must be good for me to recommend it before even finishing the book. Ya’ll need to read this one for sure. You can also check out her first book, I’m Judging You – The Do Better Manuel. In my opinion, both are must reads!

Tony Gaskin’s book, The Dream Chaser, will for sure motivate you to stop wasting time and chase after your dreams. Tony is also a Love and Relationship Master Coach, so if you need help in that area of life, you should check him out at on his YouTube channel.

The next one is by a man who has unknowingly mentored me, pushing me past my fears and into believing in myself. I believe this book will do the same for you. Built To Serve by YouTuber, Thought Leader, and Author, Evan Carmichael is another book that I would recommend time and time again.

This last book I’m going to recommend is one that I can’t put enough words together to describe how life-changing it is. This man is a genius and was once known as “The boy with the broken brain”. The fact that he can teach on how to become limitless is amazing. Check out Limitless, by Author, Jim Kwik

Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment below. Be blessed.