Do you struggle with fear and as a result, lack the confidence that is needed to pursue your dreams? At some point, we all have places within ourselves that can be considered a “work in progress”. In fact, fear is the element that stops most people from doing that which they know they should be doing. It’s the stories we tell ourselves that usually incite fear which then results in a lack of confidence. If you were to reflect on the times you felt most afraid, you will also notice that during those moments in time were also when you lacked the most confidence.
Fear of judgement is the silent assassin of confidence; however, fear of any kind will create and tell you stories of why you shouldn’t do something, or even worse, why you can’t. Fear chips away at your confidence by slowly building illusions of stories in your mind that falsely validate why you aren’t good enough. This is nonsense. Today you can decide to change the narrative of how you deal with fear. All it takes is you making a decision.
Here are 8 ways you can overcome fear and build confidence:
- Do what you are afraid of doing
- When you do this, you’re standing up for yourself. Fear cannot stand in the face of confidence. Try it and feel your sense of confidence rise.
- Stop caring what other people think
- This seems to be the biggest struggle for many. As soon as you stop caring what others think, your confidence will soar through the roof.
- Take action towards what seems to be impossible to accomplish
- When you understand that nothing is impossible, you will not fear the unknown. “It’s impossible” is a story that you tell yourself. Nothing is impossible. The key is to take one step in the direction of what seems to be impossible. Then take another, and so on and so forth. Remember, baby steps…that’s all it takes to build confidence.
- Speak lovingly to yourself and eradicate all negative self-talk
- Most people are not aware when negative self-talk is occurring. Speaking negatively over your life directly affects your level of self-confidence or lack thereof. It also keeps what you fear at the forefront of your thoughts.
- Uplift and encourage someone else
- When you encourage others, it gives you the sense that you make a difference. Encouraging others assists in the elimination of the stories we fabricate about other people’s judgement of us. When you have a sense that you make a difference, it builds confidence.
- Show someone else how to do something that you once struggled with.
- This is a big one because helping others avoid the same pitfalls in life that you once encountered also helps you feel more confident in your own abilities. Now you have become a part of the solution to increasing someone else’s confidence in themselves.
- Live outside of your comfort zone.
- The reason this works is because undoubtedly, it is uncomfortable and, at times, scary to leave your comfort zone, but the rewards of doing so are massive. Living outside of your comfort zone pushes you to overcome that which you fear most. The result is an increase in your level of confidence, instilling in you the understanding that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to.
- Dream big. Have a vision, write it down, set time aside to visualize the process of how you will accomplish your goals, and then get busy making your dreams a reality
- When you live your life in this manner, you will come face to face with what you fear most. There will be times when you will get knocked down and lose your confidence, but if you choose to not lose hope and belief in yourself, the process alone will help you overcome your fears and build confidence.
If you struggle in the area of lacking confidence and fearing the unknown, which at some point, all of us do, my suggestion is to start by taking small steps to get better in these two areas. Many times, we want the world to see us as perfect, but that’s just not reality. Be okay with not being perfect, and if you fear what other people may think, do it anyway, and watch the fear disappear and your confidence grow.
Reality Check: Fear wins every time you care what other people think. You can’t afford to care. Your life depends on you!
In my article, You Can’t Care, I go into more details about the importance of building this mental muscle.
Caring what others think stems from judgement of oneself. If this is something you struggle with, let today be the last day that you allow the opinion of others to dictate the way you move through this life. Time waits for no one and now is the time to go boldly face every one of your fears. Start now because the time will never be perfect.
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