There are some characteristics that you are simply born with; that are a part of the make-up of who you are. I was designed to be a creative, deeply caring, soul-searching dreamer and visionary; a seeker of truth behind any and everything that I experienced. I have always had a dream of making a difference in other people’s lives. I have always loved to help people or put a smile on someone’s face; so any chance I had to help someone, I jumped on it. During the time when I was still in an immature status of who I was designed to be, I was a people-pleaser. This is what made me feel fulfilled – but only temporarily.
The problem (even though I didn’t realize it at the time) was that I was helping people for the right reasons but with the wrong intentions or I had the right intentions but was helping the wrong person. We all have good in us and I believe there are a lot of people who want to do good in this world but the questions we need to start asking ourselves are:
What are my intentions behind this good deed that I am about to do?
Am I connected to the wrong people even though I have the right intentions?
Back in the day, I had not acquired the wisdom that I now have so I was unaware of those times when my intentions behind doing something good were to make me feel better. That’s why it was only a temporary high. Get it? I’m sure glad I finally got it. Back then, in that moment, my good deeds made me feel that I was lovable and accepted. They made me feel that I was now worthy of good things to come my way. In reality, I was already worthy of love but I didn’t accept myself as I was. I didn’t feel worthy of a lot of good coming to me so when something good happened I was seriously over the top happy. I would definitely be grateful; however, it was the kind of grateful that deep inside of myself held the feeling of desperation of acceptance. If I could put it into words, my gratefulness back then would say “Thank God I am actually worthy”. Can you imagine living with that type of void of self-worth and not recognizing it for what it is? To make matters worse, once I did recognize what was going on within me, I had no idea why I felt that way, nor did I have a clue of how to fill in the void. So like I had always done when I needed answers, I prayed and meant it. Sure enough, I got answers to all my questions. Little by little, I received answers through some very tough life lessons. I forgot to mention that when you pray for answers to a problem within yourself, you better put on your mental work boots and a hard hat because life is going to throw some stuff your way. Once the answers started being revealed to me, I got busy working on me and let me tell you, it was far from easy. It took years of hard work, sweat, and tears.
Because of all the work that is required in becoming a better you, once you start to grow and receive revelations of Truth, going back to the old you will never feel comfortable again because you gain wisdom. All of a sudden, in the areas that you have experienced growth, you will start to see people, situations, and their true intentions for exactly what and who they are. As a result of your growth, a silent alarm will go off within you whenever you aren’t doing things for the right reason, with the right intentions, or you are doing things for the wrong people. This has been my experience.
The point of me telling you all of this is that I am trying to reach out and touch those who feel like something is missing and they can’t quite put their finger on what it is. Or those that have gotten to the point of realizing what the void is in their life but simply don’t know what to do to fill that void. I want to reach those that are doing all the right things, but even after doing all the right things you still feel empty inside and you just…can’t…figure…out why. You are mentally exhausted with trying so hard to do the right thing all the time and no matter what you do, in the end, you still feel like something is missing. I’m talking to those who are doing all the right things and feeling good about them; however, after a day or two, or maybe even a week passes by, that nagging feeling comes back. Could it be that your intentions weren’t right even though you did the right thing? Or maybe you had the right intentions but weren’t doing the thing that you are supposed to be doing. The reason may very well be that you are dealing with the wrong people. The fact is, that “good feeling” you had afterwards was only a temporary fulfillment. The good news is that I have the solution to this problem.
The solution is to get still. Stop listening to the negative chatter in your mind and ask yourself these questions: What are my gifts? What do I do well that comers to me naturally; effortlessly? Be still and think back to when you were at your most peaceful state doing what comes naturally to you. Or maybe it’s not something you have ever done but that you have always wanted to do? Within that desire, will be the solution to your problem of experiencing temporary fulfillment. Whatever it is, you have to tap into yourself and figure out what it is and then take just one step in doing your thing, then take another step and another; one baby step at a time. Now, there is one thing that must occur in order for this solution to work: you must be of service to other people in some capacity.
Besides, your true purpose; your God-given gifts, will never be self-serving – so if what you think you want to do only serves you, that ain’t it, okay.
I guarantee you if you do this one thing intentionally and with a selfless heart while serving out your purpose, you will always know what to do in order to feel alive and excited about each day.
I am so excited that I found the answer to so many of my own unanswered questions that I can’t help but share what I have been through in hopes of reaching those that are going through or have been through similar situations.
To read more about how I figured out my gift and took that first step, check out my article, Purpose